We’ve all had them. The bad friends. The ones that leave unmistakable bruises and scars on parts of us that used to be shiny and hopeful. Right? Fear not, my sunny sided sidekicks! Your rose colored glasses might need some Windex but, they’ll be good as new soon. Today’s blog is about the signs of Bad Friends. It’s the first in a series on building your community. During times of transition community building is the most vital thing we can do for ourselves, friends. This is the blueprint for building a fortress of trusting, deep, relationships that give you life. But first, let’s discuss how to spot a bad friend, shall we?
What do Bad Friends do?
1. Take. She might consistently ask you to pick up her Starbucks order and never repaying you or she’s mooching off of your Netflix, maybe while eating your groceries. Takers also take from you emotionally. They want to vent to you, but never let allow you to express your feelings. Dump Takers. Every time.
2. Minimizes. Do you find yourself keeping good news from them? Cute boy asked for your number? Awesome. Three cute boys asked for hers today. Got your dream interview? Awesome. She’s had ten places begging her to work there. Minimizers even go so far as to minimize your feelings. Parent got diagnosed with something scary? It’s okay, it’s not as bad as what she’s going through that day. She’s most likely discouraging of new friends, hobbies. Hairstyles, anything. She doesn’t want you to grow.
3. Trash Talking. They say “playful” negative things about you, and everyone you love. “Is it just me or were your sister’s pants too tight?”, “He’s texting you!? Why would he text a girl that looks like you? JK LOL!” Also, if she’s trying to impress someone you are either her favourite human being or the butt of her jokes. Make it stop. You don’t need that crap.
4. Guilt Monstering. Nothing is ever her fault. Not ever. But, everything is your fault and she’ll stop around like a grumpy troll until you admit it.
5. You’re the “It Girl”. She wants to go to that concert, or meet those people, get that guys number, and you’re the one that’s going to make it happen for her. If you can’t make those things happen, she’s not happy.
6. She Talks. You Listen. No Switching. She talks, and talks, and talks some more and even if you had premonitions of her perfect hair falling out, she wouldn’t take a breath in time to hear it.
7. She’s Catty. Ruins or takes things of yours when she’s upset? Calls you names? Leaves passive aggressive notes or texts? Bye.
The thing about Bad Friends is that they can easily dismantle your entire self-esteem. They are life sucks. Take time to build relationships that are the opposite of these things. People that give you words, treat you well, let you do you and go into full cheerleader mode about it! You deserve to grow and flourish in a community built on mutuality and support.