Five Questions to NEVER ask when you give a crap about someone in transition.

The well-meaning, smiling, hugging, handshaking types that seem to fill my life have asked me a lot of questions lately. I understand why their questions are what they are. They give a crap about me and my well-being. I’m really glad that I have the “Give A Crap” crowd. They come in handy when I need cheerleaders, when I need a kick in the butt and when I just need a hug.
So, this blog goes out to those that Give A Crap. These are the questions not to ask, and the questions I want to encourage you to ask instead the next time you talk to a new grad or someone in the inbetween.

1. “What can you do with your degree exactly?” Now, for the Education, Electrical Engineering and maybe Business grads out there, this question never comes up! For those of us with Liberal Arts or Ministry degrees it happens a lot. It’s disheartening. So, next time try “What do you want to do now?” because, then I can tell you about my passion for college students, my love for administration, communications, graphic design, people and my love for the Church and you will see my smile instead of my amazing Deer in the Headlights impersonation.

2. “You know so-and-so’s random relative is doing something like that and their doing great!” Great for them! But, if I don’t have their industry contacts or experience, I may be having a difficult time finding ways to be excited. Instead, offer me an introduction! Maybe by email or Facebook, even if it’s just to pick their brain you’d be offering me a chance to network!

3. “Do you have a job lined up?” Never NEVER ask this. Because, more often than not, your new grad/ in betweener has been sending out resumes like crazy and having all kinds of phone interviews. This is my life right now. Do I have a job? As a matter of fact, I do. But, it’s my “in between” place. It’s my way of making ends meet. But, I don’t have a job in my field yet, so, instead ask me what I’m doing with my in between time! I’ll tell you about my busy schedule full of volunteering, interviews, bettering myself and growing.

4. “You want to move WHERE?” More often than not, your new grad or in between friend will have to move in order to get a job in their field. Don’t discourage this. Ever. It makes them feel gross. Instead, ask them if they need connections that you have there or offer to help me pack a truck when the time comes to move!

5. “Well, what do your parents think?” I can guarantee you that I’ve had plenty of prayerful, tear filled conversations with my parents about moving, feeling called to move and not wanting to stay in my hometown for very long. I don’t want to rehash them with you, and that’s a blessing for both us. I promise. They’re still proud of me, they still love me, they still will always be on my team. Always remember that before asking this question. Even if you’ve heard one of them say something like “She’s not moving out of state.” Don’t tell me that. They’re coming to terms with the same things I am, but they’re my biggest cheerleaders. It doesn’t matter if I move to the Moon. It will always be that way. So, don’t be offended if I respond “They still love me, they’re still proud of me.”

To the folks that Give A Crap, thank you. I love you.

Love Love Love,


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