I’m not waiting for my husband.

Lady in Waiting. This term is used in medieval context in terms that refer to a woman who’s primary job is to play fetch for another woman in a position of power. A queen, princess, etc. These women that they serve are considered more beautiful, more delicate and more desirable than those that wait on them.
Taking this terminology back in the name of all things feminine and fair seems to be in order. Though, most Christian women’s books make this out to be a term that encourages you to sit and wait for your husband to come along, I’m going to say something that might make me sound completely un-Christian. Ready? Don’t wait for your spouse.

Now, before you start throwing things, demanding an exorcism or something equally ridiculous, hear me out. I don’t mean to give you a ticket to have sex with strangers, or to otherwise ruin your purity. What I mean is this. Live your life. Take that job, cut your hair, get a tattoo, make a long list of mistakes. Stop waiting for your future spouse to complete your life!

As a Bible College graduate, I’ve heard the term “Ring By Spring” more times than I could count. Because of the intense pressure in these types of situations to get into romantic relationships, I’ve seen tons and tons of ladies (and men, for that matter) jump in head first because they can’t stand to be alone. It’s almost as though they can’t stand to be left with themselves.

I used to be the queen of self-image issues. I used to positively hate spending time with myself, because society told me that it was a waste of time. My taste in music, the books I read, the way that I dressed, the size of my body all seemed to make hate myself more. So, I started to change. I tried new things. I travelled. I read books. I went to concerts. I started conversations. The more time I spent letting myself explore the more time I spent exploring the greatest parts of myself. That’s still the process that I’m in. I’m still learning to appreciate how cool I am. Now, I know by this point in this post you’re sure that I’ve read “Eat Pray Love” a few too many times and perhaps you’re right but, I do know a few things about myself that I didn’t before.

I know why it is that I love the music of The National, I know why I love the words of e.e. cummings. I know why the caged bird sings!…Okay, take a breath. It’s supposed to be funny. The best part is that I know all of the parts of myself that God delights in. God delights in me like I delight in poetry, and chocolate and good cup of coffee. In God’s world I am a Jack Kerouac novel and cup of Highlander Grogg.

We are the image of Jesus. I know you know that. It is the topic of women’s conferences everywhere, it’s the subject of many “Iron Sharpens Iron” style books for the male crowd, but understanding that fact is truly and unequivocally one of the hardest things to do. I am slowly learning those things about myself. I don’t need to wait for my husband to become those things. I’m just praying that he’ll be able to keep up, or better yet, take the lead!

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