Surviving “and Guest”


Confession time. For the last few months I’ve been one half of a “thing”. A big, romantic gesture, flirtatious text message thing. Big words about big emotions and big plans were all we could talk about. Big plans including weddings.
Before you freak out, I was not the one in the white dress in these plans. I was the one in the party dress, holding hands with the handsome dude in the non-tux. It was going to be a great summer of parties for us and our beautiful, vibrant, flirtation with big decisions. Then, it ended.
So now, here I sit, having RSVP’d to a ton of weddings with a “plus one” and I gave his name for place cards. What happens now? What happens when the people that I love, the friends-like-family like, family-like friends that wanted to meet him and love him the way that they love me don’t have a new addition to their lives? How does one deal with a break up while celebrating love and commitment?
I have read a few blogs and books, and watched a few Youtube videos on the subject and now, I’ve developed a few things that I’m going to do to make the most of celebrations and big moments of those I love.

1. It’s all about them. These days, the reason that I’m in the fancy dresses and the shoes, the curled hair, the Spanx and the tediously prepared make up is not about me. It’s about the sweet friends in the even fancier outfits being loved on for the day because God gave them each other.
2. I will feel my best. I will wear the most beautiful dresses in my closet. I will look and feel beautiful. I will be on my A-Game and even if I’m not, I’m going to act like it.
3. I will dance! With everyone, to every song, I will boogie down. It will be great.
4. I will not say anything negative about him. He’s still someone that I cared for, he’s still someone that loved me well.He’s going through the break up, too. Even if it was his idea. He’s still far from anyone I “hate”. So, staying positive and neutral is something that I can do for him.

There are so many other things that I can do for myself and for him as we recover from the pain of farewells. It was a mutual decision. It was something beautiful that ended. I am excited to spend my time recovering from endings by partying about beginnings. I love the loves in my life and I will love and find joy in partying about them. God has given me great things to find joy in!

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