Dear Nicole Arbour

When you take the time to put thoughts to paper, or blog or video, or social media or whatever, it’s out there. People can see it, hear it, experience it and be moved by it in any particular way that they want, need or are driven to. This is something that I’ve learned this weekend in watching, and experiencing the social media aftermath of satirical “comedienne” Nicole Arbour’s YouTube rant “Dear Fat People”. So, I decided to put my own thoughts and feelings out into the world and see what happens.

Dear Nicole,

I am sorry to tell you that I did not even make it through two minutes of your video. I know that seems unfair, given that you had nearly six minutes of mean things to spew, but, darling, I did not have time. I make it a goal of mine to only give my time and attention to things that give life, hope and joy.

I will tell you this and I have prayerfully considered the consequences of the words that I am about to say. You are part of the problem. It’s not your fault. I forgive you. You have given in to the ideas of societally beautiful, and skin deep acceptance. It breaks my heart that you had to heal by breaking others. I’m sorry that someone hurt you that deeply, that society made you feel that ugly that you find comedy and joy at the expense of other people.

The Body Positivity Movement is not just for the plus sized. It’s for everyone. This movement is about being comfortable in yourself, being okay with any and every part of who you are. But, since we’re talking about it, yes, the plus sized community needs to feel stunning because of the words that are thrown at them and the assumptions made about them. I’m sure in the social media storm that followed your video, you have been called some names and had assumptions made about you. I’m sorry that you’ve had to understand those situations.

I work with teenage girls. I have for the last six years and if there is one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that they learn almost everything from the screens of telephones, computers and videos like yours. Now, those girls, my girls are learning that being okay with who they are is not okay. That they only matter if their waist is a certain size. They’re only beautiful if they do something. Even if it means hurting themselves, under eating, over eating, anything else. They are learning that the template is not easy to fit into and that failing to do so is worth cruelty, mockery and that those things are considered forms of “comedy”.

I hope that you know that you are beautiful and that you know that you are loved by a God that crafted you by hand. Every part of you that doesn’t fit into the template you want to promote so badly? Those parts were made by Him. Don’t waste them. Don’t waste your quick wit on cruelty. Instead use it to bring joy to world, please. Empowering women…no, scratch that, humans to be positive and feel beautiful takes steps forward for everyone. I hope that you’d know that that means you, too.

Love Love Love,


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